Tyrone McGraw
Tyrone McGraw, college athlete and aspiring civil servant, died on June 18th, 2017. He was 29.
“In 35 years in the sports world, first as a journalist and then in Stanford athletics, I never met anyone more inspiring than Tyrone McGraw.”
-David Kiefer, Executive Editorial Producer, Stanford Athletic Department
Tyrone McGraw arrived at Stanford University in the fall of 2006. A recruited member of the football team, he reported for training camp that August after concluding a stellar career at nearby Archbishop Riordan High School in San Francisco. Like his new classmates, he had selected Stanford from an array of other schools vying for his talents. Academically he excelled in high school, graduating as class valedictorian and with as many academic accolades to his name as athletic.
He contributed immediately in both track and football, his quickness and speed quickly gaining the attention of his peers and coaches (one of his track coaches later commented “We have a new saying when we’re evaluating talent: ‘Is he fast? Or is he Tyrone fast?’”)
But Stanford is not short of valedictorians or star athletes. Knowing what I know now, I think this is one of the things that drew Tyrone to Stanford: Palo Alto provided anonymity that had eluded him at home. There he was just another talented kid chasing his dreams.
Because at home in Hunter’s Point, the troubled enclave in Southeast San Francisco only thirty miles north of Palo Alto yet a world away from the idyllic campus, Tyrone was set aside. Different. The Chosen One. He had been marked as an inspiration at a young age. He carried the hopes, dreams and expectations of those troubled streets along with him.
This pressure was a blessing, of course. And he was always quick to point out how grateful he was to represent his community. But he also viscerally felt the expectations of success. His first quarter at Stanford was a struggle; he later admitted in a speech he gave to Riordan graduation Seniors that he believed he’d come that far only to be flunking out of school.
Who could blame him for losing confidence? He had already endured so much. He had lost the aunt who raised him as a son at fourteen, then four months later the godfather who had taken him into custody after her passing. He had watched friends give in to the violent underworld of drugs and crime. He spent lonely mornings in his dorm room, face hot with tears as he mustered the courage to go and face the seemingly insurmountable expectations set before him.
It was a theme of Tyrone McGraw’s short life that he was often faced with that choice: succumb, or get up.
He got up. School got better. He hit his stride. Suddenly the world was truly at his fingertips.
Tyrone graduated from Stanford in 2011. He shined academically, starred on the track team, interned at the White House, and set himself up for a long career in service of others. As he saw it, those friends who had made the wrong choices back home didn’t just need inspiration; they needed a roadmap. His mission was to make his story the rule, rather than the exception, by building that map from the top down.
But in 2014, a rare cancer diagnosis upended his plans and gave him yet another test in his short life. The aggressive tumor was discovered running the length of his neck. Treatment options were few, and the expected results of those therapies were not promising. But Tyrone fought with the strength that had guided him his entire life, this time with the clarity and conviction that had evaded him at times.
"For all of the adversity I've faced in my short lifetime, it would seem I've been preparing all my life for this kind of battle. I'm hoping that preparation has trained me well enough to see this trial through as well. In any case, I do have faith that everything will be OK. With God on my side, every day may be a struggle, but I ain't worried about nothing. And with God on my side, I am blessed."
Tyrone lost his life. His communities lost a brother and friend. We lost a leader who had the strength and vision to transform himself, then his family, then his communities, then the world, all in successive due time. He was well along his way before being cut short. It’s heartbreaking to think about where he would have gone and where he could have taken San Francisco. Or California. Or the country. Tyrone could have been President. The tragedy for the rest of us is that Tyrone should have been President.
What are the rest of us to do with those who even hyperbole doesn’t frame appropriately? Bad things happen to good people, but how could that happen to him, we say. Nihilism seems appropriate when the worst outcomes overtake the best of us. What are the rest of us to do?
Tyrone’s life gives us hints on where to start:
Never give up. Walk with a purpose of knowing who you represent. Willingly accept pressure as one of the privileges of high expectations. Show up for those who will hear your story and be inspired in turn.
And while you’re at it, do it with a smile on your face.
this is a beautiful tribute to your friend, Tyrone. And as usual, your writing brought tears to my eyes, Andrew. It was also just what I need to read this morning about perseverance, keeping one's head up and knowing God is always with us.